December Madness

This is going to be a hodge podge of a post.

So much going on and so little time to blog!

I am actually supposed to be working. But who likes to work?

 

First off, I did my monthly weigh-in last week and I was not able to hit my goal to be down 10 lbs by Marlee's baptism. BUT I refused to be upset about the 8 lbs I did lose. Eight pounds gone and I am proud of myself. I still need to push myself to workout more and eat a better but I have been slowing down on the sweets which is my biggest weakness. My husband wants to know why Christmas cookies are not done yet... well it is because I eat them all!

Couple more pounds till the 140's and I think it might be the motivation I have been looking for.

 

Marlee will be 5 months on the 23rd and I think I have come to the end of my breastfeeding journey. I am not ready to give up feeding her but I am done with pumping. I didn't even bring my pump to work tonight and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. It was becoming pure torture and since I went back to work so soon, I was never able to build up a supply so it was constant stress over whether or not I was going to have enough milk for her. Torture I tell you. Right up there with eye gouging and finger nail removal. Now starts the search for a decent formula which has actually been really stressful. There are a million choices and the ingredient lists are a mile long. I think I have it narrowed down to Gerber Good Start Gentle and Enfamil Gentlease. I am worried about her tummy being irritated with the change but it will only be for the nights that I am at work and when we are on the go. I am actually feeling pretty good about it after weeks of stress involved with making this decision. I wanted to make it to six months but I am not going to beat myself up about it.

 

Christmas is right around the corner and my tree is filled with presents already! We don't even have Isaac's and Marlee's gifts out yet! We finally have a stocking for Marlee and Isaac is big enough for a new stocking so our mantle was completed this week.

 

 

We decided to do Christmas morning at our house this year which is going to be pretty interesting with both the families together. Lots of people, little house. I am bummed that we do not have Isaac for Christmas morning (we switch holidays every year) but at least most of the family will be together and hopeful get some Christmas spirit going. Marlee is obviously not going to be able to open presents but I will enjoy watching Nick open them for her. I will just be getting off work so it is going to be coffee mania for this woman. Spiked Christmas coffee... mmmmm.

 

I also have some other news but I do not want to jinx myself by getting too excited just yet. Keep those fingers crossed and say a little prayer that my career path is going to be getting better soon!

Breastfeeding Warriors and Weigh-in Wednesday

I will start with the good news - I am down another pound!

As excited as I am to be losing some weight, it still seems like my goal is so far away.

I did change my apps up a bit and convinced my sister to join MyFitnessPal. I figured this would be a way to keep us both a little more accountable. I deleted the Waterlogged app because I needed more room for Marlee pictures and MyFitnessPal has a water counter all ready built right in!

I mean who doesn't want more Marlee pictures?!

I have been a little annoyed lately with some breastfeeding posts I have been reading lately. I find them either on Facebook, Google +, or even through Yahoo. I always read them because I think I can learn something new or even just relate to some aspect of the story/question/problem. More and more lately, I have been feeling that I am a rare brand of breastfeeder. The -eh- breastfeeder if you will. I am not 100% or 0% about it. I am more like 55%. When my doctor would ask if I was going to breastfeed, I always said that I was going to try. She always seemed kinda put off by that answer and now I see why. Breastfeeders have a bit of a reputation for being overly entusiatic about the feeding method they choose. Sorry if this offends but I feel as if the articles I read about breastfeeding are all about the protests, or the declaration of rights, or the rebellion of somekind.

This article was the most recent one I read:

School Discriminates Against Mother

I just have to ask myself; who is this mother really fighting for? Did she even consider how her 8 year old feels? I know Isaac would be mortified. I mean there are 85 people scheduled to show up for this event. And now the Facebook page is just an entire debate on breastfeeding. I am sure they are not going to change anyones mind on breastfeeding by doing this 'nurse-in'. The mother AND the teacher should have just had more respect for each other and did a little communicating about the issue. Boom.

Problem averted. 

I also feel that if you are not about breastfeeding your child till they self ween, then you are cast out of the breastfeeding circle. As if my six months of breastfeeding that I hope to accomplish is less important or not even worth it at all. And then add in the baby wearing, and co-sleeping, and cloth diapers... AHH! All of a sudden, I am a worthless mother.   

I have always been a passive person. I don't bother you as long as you don't bother me. If you want to breastfeed your kid in public, then do so. If you want to breastfeed till three years of age, then do so. If you do not want to breastfeed at all, then don't do so. I really do not have an opinion either way because while I know the pros and cons of breastfeeding, who am I to sway your opinion one way or the other?

Are there any other -eh- breastfeeders out there? The ones who breastfeed because it was cheap, easy, and good for your little nugget? Who may or may not be comfortable enough to feed in public but wouldn't want to make anyone else uncomfortable either? Who see these protests a little unnecessary and extreme? 

Can I be considered a breastfeeder without choosing a side? 

Busy Bee

Wow where does the time go! 

Marlee is two weeks old already and it seems like the time is just flying by. I really would like time to stop for a second so I can collect myself and really take it all in. I'm a mom! And I have a daughter! And she is pretty freaking awesome. I really didn't think I could be so in love. I feel really lucky to spend these last two weeks with her and I need to really enjoy these next couple weeks before I return to work. If only I could take her with me...

Today has been a great day. We both had a bath, I was able to brush my hair (always my daily goal), I did some laundry, ate lunch, and even have time to blog! This is a rarity so I am trying to take advantage. Marlee is napping peacefully. 

Yes she is on her belly... and no, I don't leave her unattended. She prefers this position! Who am I to deny her comfort? 

Still having the same problem since day one: breastfeeding. I have done so much research on breastfeeding between school and my own personal time but I don't recall ever reading about how difficult it can be! I mean we are constantly fighting with each other. Bonding? Yea we bond while crying with each other. And the pain! Ugh it is so painful! I do not recall reading anything about needing nips of steal. We did finally wean off the shield... which only happened after I lost it (I think it's in Brusco's belly), so that is a plus! Everyone says it gets easier. We will see. 

Oh good morning sleepy head! 

Besides the feedings, Marlee is a happy girl! She loves kisses and hanging out with her family. She has started to smile more regularly and is very alert when awake. She can even hold her head up on her own! We battled her first diaper rash which was more traumatizing for me then for her. All clear now and our days are generally uneventful which is fine with me! 

We have a doctors appointment on Friday to make sure she is gaining enough weight and all that jazz. 

Now back to playtime with MJ - she demands it!

Pre-coffee Post

I am feeling a bit sleep deprived this morning so my thoughts might not flow together. Mostly because Marlee did not sleep well but I also have not had my morning coffee. Marlee requests breakfast though and does so in a very demanding way. So I post while I feed - multitasking momma. 

Feeding has still been difficult at times. I can see why people throw in the towel after a couple weeks. Don't get me wrong, I know how healthy and important breast feeding is and I'm not at the point of quitting, but it would be nice to have her latch without so much resistance. 

It doesn't help that poor baby has diaper rash and is as red and sensitive as can be. So feeding and diaper changes are both exhausting times for her and I. I read to try to keep it open to air as much as possible to help dry it up so here I am trying to feed with a naked babe, praying she doesn't pee on me. Far from the precious pictures of breast feeding I had in my head. 

Not real life.

Yea this generally never happens for us. 

But it gets done and Marlee seems happy about the final outcome. 

Ok enough of my bellyaching.  Marlee is already 9 days old! Where has the time gone!? She is already so expressive and is definitely a sassy babe. I literally just sit around and giggle at her all day. She makes me smile and I really can't imagine my life without her. Motherhood is exactly how I thought it would be - busy, messy, frustrating, and absolutely worthwhile. 

And lots of pictures have been taken! She has had lots of firsts this week.

Marlee's first bath

First ridiculous bow

First time in her swing - It almost ate her.

First time meeting Great-Grandma

First time going for a walk

First tummy time

First time swinging with Grandma

First time in a bar - haha

First time attending big brothers football practice

And of course just hanging out with mom and dad. 

Excited to see what week two has in store for us!